Step into the abyss

Ramblings of a non-sleeping zombie

2008-06-17T12:39:14Z

Ahhh! It's 5:19 am as I begin to type this, and to think just a few hours ago I passed out watching The Basketball Diaries with Leo DiCaprio... Was a bit boring, I thought and, seeing as I got woken up not even an hour later, I pondered what to do with my now sleepless state. Human Traffic it was, though I didn't watch most of it. I spent time cataloguing my recent vinyl purchases into my collection on Discogs' database. How I love watching my collection grow (though this might be an addiction I'll never get rid of!).

I spent a lot of time looking for places of residence in Southern California yesterday, and it looks like I'll be doing the same today. I found quite a bit in the San Fernando Valley, and I'll be looking around Ventura once I finish up with this page. Maybe I'll start it once I'm done with this entry. Who knows.

Emily from Rockford called me tonight. Damn, I haven't talked to her in a long ass time! Apparently she was in a singing competition at Disneyland a while back. Good for her! We were talking about all sorts of stuff. She says she's gonna come out to SoCal next month to see me DJ @ Otter*Pops! Yay! Makes me happy to see others prosper in music. It inspires me, now that I have the time (and sanity) to finally focus on my own artistry. Ugh so much to do, but it's all gonna be worth it in the end.

BTW... Flyer for Otter*Pops:

It really makes me wonder who makes these flyers. They look rather silly, but whatever works. Tulip's making me excited to see Tigger spin TRANCE. Apparently he hasn't mixed in 12 years. In addition, I'm gonna be pulling out some of the DARKEST shit I've ever played for ANY set as I am the closer for the drum & bass/hardcore area.

I also talked to Yvette tonight for quite a bit, and she's gonna be making it out to Otter*Pops too. She's not even a raver, but I'm gonna turn MY SOCCER PLAYER on to this filthy music. :D! Oh yea, and I'm gonna have my first OFFICIAL audio engineering "gig." Chase of Blu Ice Entertainment is going to be teaching me the ropes (as I will be going back to school soon for this very profession). DJ TZ has also offered to mentor me.

I'm currently working for 4 drum & bass labels: Blu Saphir, Influenza Media, Black Reign Music Group and (soon) Vibez Recordings. I also have a feature coming up on dogsonacid.com on the revival of Biotic Recordings. Boy, am I excited!!!!

Uh oh... It's getting light out. Ah how I miss the rave. I miss those days of walking out of the venue as the sun throws itself over the horizon. I miss those days of chillin at The Rocks on Foster & Lake Shore Drive in Chicago, cuddling with some cute girl that I met the night before. I need to rave soon. That's for sure. Technologic on July 5th is going to be FUCKING INSANE.

I feel like doing something right now. It might seem a little crazy. It's now 5:35 am, and I'm not even tired. And as I raise my arms above my head to stretch, I feel the "bruise" that was left when Eric, my roommate, punched me in the chest earlier. I got $3 and a nice folding knife out of it though. And then he started punching and stabbing things (with a pair of sai) like speakers. He was also shooting flaming skewers at the wall with an airsoft gun. o_0 Shawn & Eric both passed out on me. And somehow the coal sitting atop the hookah fell off, burned my leg and scarred the carpet. Still don't understand that one. I wasn't drunk or anything. Whatevs.

Mew. I could say more. I just don't know what to say. Maybe sleepyness will kick in soon... I hope...

Today's amusement

2008-06-07T23:54:41Z

First there's these images:

(to be inserted later. website is unavailable :[)

Then a Weed Shake recipe:

Here's a good recipe for weed shakes:

Mix 600 ml water, 250 ml 2% milk, a few teabags or a bit of coffee, and 5 drops of lemon juice with a couple good handfuls of weed waste (vaporizer leftovers and / or leaves; I have no idea how much bud you'd use). Note that 2% milk seems to work best, as it's the surfactants in it that we're after, rather than the fat (the stuff that keeps the fat suspended also traps THC).

Heat until it's just barely boiling, and hold it there for 90 minutes.

Filter out the weed sludge WHILE IT'S STILL HOT, and add sugar and either chocolate syrup or vanilla extract to taste.

Let cool (if you're patient), then shake and drink. It takes about 2 1/2 hours to kick in, but the effect is very strong and will last for about 5 hours.

Jesus Stolen in Detroit?

2008-06-05T00:36:43Z

DETROIT - Thieves who stole an 8-foot statue of Jesus Christ off a crucifix in Detroit may have been seeking copper to sell as scrap. Problem is, it's made of plaster.

The Rev. Barry Randolph said Wednesday that the statue at the Church of the Messiah is green and looks like copper, one of several metals coveted by thieves because of soaring scrap prices.

Thieves have damaged copper pipes and stolen aluminum gutters at the church over the past few months, said Donya Ray-Gregg, a member of the congregation, which over the years has dwindled from about 350 members to just 50.

It's unclear when the statue was snatched. A parishioner noticed it missing Monday from its perch on the side of the church, 10 feet above the ground. A small piece of plaster was found nearby.

The church has made a public plea for help.

"It is so crazy," Randolph said. "It's been there for so long and was a symbol of hope to a lot of people in this neighborhood."

Police were investigating, but department spokesman James Tate said it was doubtful thieves had mistaken the plaster statue for copper.

"People who steal copper know what copper is and what it feels like," Tate said. "There is no way they would think a plaster statue is some type of metal."

Accomplished :]

2008-06-04T03:18:54Z

So today's been pretty chillaxin'! Got up early this morning to head over to the social security office for an interview to get food stamps. That went well. So I'm gonna get a decision either tomorrow or Thursday. 95% says that I'll have $155 coming to me every month. :]

So after the usual boring bus ride, I came home and started working on vocals for 2CV (aka Phono of Leet Recordings) for an minimal tune. I had a lot of fun doing it. It seemed to flow nicely. I finished recording about an hour later and started working on a freestyle for Lollita's "Luxor." I'm gonna have fun with this one, but I think I should get some advice from Illy Emcee before I continue on with this.

I have tracks by Subject 13 and Belial that I still need to finish still though. I'll be working on those more tomorrow. My voice doesn't like me much right now. I've gotta get my ass to Arizona and finish up some shit for Juggernaut too... Meh. One of these days.

I've also hit up another band in Arizona, Ashes For Erin. Apparently they're looking for a vocalist and are on the death metal/melodic tip. So YAY. We'll see what happens.

:] It's a good day so far. Now time to go play with Reason for a little while! ^_^

Last stop at a dead end

2008-05-31T09:26:06Z

After influxes of insanity over the last week or so, I've started to re-evaluate my current situation, where I'd like to be and what I'd like to be doing. Let's face it. Moving back to Northern California could have been the worst mistake I've ever made.

I thought that moving back up here after being laid off from Anything Imprinted would have possibly done me some good, especially since Simon Apex was offering me this huge opportunity with Nu Energy USA. He described it as "my big chance." He was a great friend. Not someone I met on the internet. He's helped me out in the past, so I figured "why not?" So I came up here and gave him his alotted time to make the necessary arrangements so that I could start work.

Unbeknownst to me, weeks later, Nu Energy USA went kaput but, instead of going back to SoCal right then and there (because it didn't come to mind), I stayed in Martinez and survived on unemployment. This definitely proved to be my enemy when, on July 21st, I had to leave Martinez because of fucked up situations. The usual in my life, right?

So with nowhere else to go, I relocated to San Jose. Things first seemed okay, but as time went on, everything began to spiral downward on a rapid rate. We eventually got evicted for Chris' loud fucking parties every night (though we never got an actual reason, this is what I was guessing) and moved to the east side of San Jose. I had found a place down the street from where Chris & Zephyr were staying, but found out a week later that the landlord rejected me because I had to "permanent" job. I was with a temp agency. Give me a fucking break! Why he waited a week to tell me this is beyond me.

A friend was also willing to let me move into her apartment in Vista (Southern California). I would have ended up right where I was when I left Arizona for Southern California. But "friends" brainwashed me into staying in Northern California and also talked my ride out of taking me down there. On top of that, Home Depot had called me that same day, offering me a position. I was blind and didn't see the massive onslaught that would be immediately following this. I accepted the position and stayed in San Jose.

The following month would allow chaos to reign on every part of my life. Hours were getting cut within a month, "friends" were turning on me due to drugs and the "house" was turning into a "crack house" with people being on shit every night. I couldn't even go out to buy groceries because the second I did, they'd be devoured by some twat that didn't have their own money to begin with.

I finally got out of there with a place of my own in Mid-October. At this point though, it didn't really matter anymore. It seemed like all of my local friends had turned their back on me. I spent a lot of time working. That's all I did.

Fast Forward to the end of February...

I had been served with a notice to move out by my landlady. So I found this place in South San Jose (where I reside now). The trek to work would be an hour greater, but it's what I had to do. Around Mid-April, the Capitol Light Rail station went under construction by my house, and due to this inconvenience, the bus shuttles made me late for work three times. Though I explained to management that this wasn't my fault, I was terminated.

Gotta love the way they play favorites, huh? There are people who no call/no show, call in sick every day and are late every day. But they don't get penalised at all. WTF is up with that? I was also beginning to look for another job around the time of my termination. That puts a damper on my tracks huh?

So $923 was put in my hand, and I still had money in the bank account. Great! So now I've got over a thousand dollars to move to Southern California. I had found a place in Chatsworth that would allow me to stay from Mid-April to June 1st for $300. So I co-ordinated with the lady that I would make it down there on April 28th, the same weekend as Uprise. She had told me that "the place is mine" and to just give her the money when I got down there. Fair enough.

So I spent two days looking for a ride. In this time, I guess the lady had e-mailed me saying, "are you excited?" Obviously, since I was so busy, I had no time to check my mail. I open my inbox to see the words "the opportunity is gone." Obviously this freaked me out. I called her up and she told me that since I hadn't replied to her e-mail (though she already told me the place is "mine"), she gave the place to someone else. I tried finding another place to fit my budget, but that was an utter failure. Strike two.

Upon the realisation that there was now no way in hell for me to move back to SoCal, I slipped into a patch of darkness and depression. I had re-applied with Officeteam and IHOP, but didn't do much other than that for the first two weeks. I had money in the bank anyways. I thought that something good would come up. Officeteam still hasn't "found" anything, and the manager at IHOP that interviewed me kept asking about my lazy eye. I kept telling him that it doesn't affect my vision. I guess he wanted to discriminate against me just because of a "flaw."

Once I emerged from this darkness, I started putting out applications and resumes EVERYWHERE. It was taking forever to get a reply for ANYTHING. Finally I started getting replies to e-mails, and I secured a job at Togo's... But that's all I've gotten... After countless sleepless nights, a ton of hard work and finally being burnt out, I'm finished. I'm tired of having no friends, struggling with barely any money (and having to ask parents for money numerous times because unemployment rejected me) and just having an overall dissatisfied life.

And you'd really start to think... What's become of Simon Apex and his "opportunity?" He's asked me to write up interviews for SacLights, but this too will be unpaid. I can't really afford to write unpaid right now, especially considering that my head isn't really in hardcore to begin with. But one would start to wonder, the least he could do is share some of his connections so that I can make some cash as well as expand my portfolio. I love to write but lately, it hasn't really appealed to me much either. And I'm really sick of people who turn their backs just because someone is going through a string of hard times. Those aren't real friends at all.

Cannabis Blunder @ Tokyo Airport...LOL

2008-05-26T11:45:48Z

An unwitting passenger arriving at Japan's Narita airport has received 142g of cannabis after a customs test went awry, officials say.

A customs officer hid a package of the banned narcotic in a side pocket of a randomly chosen suitcase in order to test airport security.

Sniffer dogs failed to detect the cannabis and the officer could not remember which bag he had put it in.

Anyone finding the package has been asked to contact customs officials.
The cannabis is estimated at having a street value of nearly $10,000 (£5,000).
"This case was extremely regrettable. I would like to deeply apologise," said Narita International Airport's customs head Manpei Tanaka.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7419969.stm

Blu Saphir 008 feat. Cloud Nine, Peyo, Random Movement on PROMO!

2008-05-25T06:52:55Z

BLUS008 Peyo & Cloud Nine - That's What You Do To Me/Random Movement Remix

Peyo is a man of many different styles. His creation of the signature "cinema-concert nights," a distinctive "4-deck DJ-theater show" (performed alongside the Electrons Libres.) has opened eyes across the globe to new techniques in live music. Playing everything from drum 'n bass to breakbeat, electro, funk and soul, his impeccable, creative mixes have landed him a residency with the legendary Dragon Crew. Playing many shows across his home country and Europe with an impressive list of top notch producers to include Moby, Keaton, Dillinja, Amon Tobin, Shimon and MC Stamina, these credits have cemented his stature as a mixologist in the French drum 'n bass scene for over a decade. Peyo maintains a busy schedule with recent releases on Bingo Beats and Vandal, a weekly radio show on Toulouse's FMR Radio with Redeyes, "Breakbeat Experience" and various guest appearances on premier broadcasts, including Fabio's program on UK BBC, Flight's Next Chapter and Bailey's Intabeats.

Not to be confused with the early Cloud 9 (of You've Got Me Burnin' fame), The Funktastics' Cloud Nine takes a step outside of his group for a superb solo effort with the man mentioned above. Don't let the name fool you though. Despite the obvious similarity to one of Nookie's earliest productions, this man is no newcomer to D&B. Putting on events since the mid-nineties with the Dity Crew alongside fellow Funktastics mate, Cosa, "C Nine" has brought out many big names including Andy C, Shy FX and High Contrast. If his more recent releases on Friction's Shogun Audio and SGN:LTD, Spin Recordings and Sidechain-Music weren't enough, look out for more discrete and deeper sounds in the pipeline!

BLUS008 (click on links for audio)
A. Peyo feat. Cloud Nine – That's What You Do To Me
B. Peyo feat. Cloud Nine – That's What You Do To Me (Random Movement Remix)

What You Do to Me:

If you've never bought a Blu Saphir release, this would be the one that would fit perfectly in your bag! A superb chord progression on the pads leads into an even more magnificent main vocal, leading the way to more looped samples and an atmospheric backdrop of pure bliss. Big up to the Frenchmen – showin' the world how to do drum 'n bass right!

What You Do To Me ( Random Movement Remix ):

The RM remix presents a different take on this brilliant piece of work. The trademarked, upbeat feel that is ever-present on so many of Blu Saphir's releases is definitely noticed here. The vocals are chopped and looped throughout the track amidst multiple driving drum sections. A simple bassline adds the depth while the staple elements roll the track out to the finish.

For more news on this release, please visit http://www.blusaphir.com and www.myspace.com/blusaphir_recordings

Both tunes have massive support by the likes of Makoto, Fabio, Big Bud, Marky, Patife, Beta 2, Henree and many more..

Promos are out now on Chemical Records, Juno, Hard To Find, Etc.

Words by Bryan Friedman (sykophiend@gmail.com)

The Box

2008-05-25T06:28:20Z

Don't know where to turn
Don't know when to run or when to stand and fight
Like a rat trapped in a cage, I'm trapped inside this colorless box
Crawling from the black of death to reach for an outstretched hand, but I find nothing

Moments later the sun beams down on my face
Taking in the Earth's winds one at a time; it carries me
Climbing mountains of sand and stone
I reach the apex as I look down on the ground below
But then that mass disappears...
I plunge thousands of feet ground below
Falling rate increasing
My face bounces off solid earth
I lay there... unconscious; just to regain life seconds later

My eyes disappear to the back of my skull
I fight to stand only to collapse as I rise
Back at the bottom of this gargantuan structure
Too weak to climb...
Refusing to repeat the enormous feat that had me victorious before the fall

I crawl to an endless infinity
Away from this mountain
Not caring to climb it again
But I know I'm going to have to
I crawl away hoping these winds would carry me to the top
But the air is calm and no gust blows

Lacking energy and strength, I give in
The whole world goes black

good news!

2008-05-21T07:07:44Z

So finally after weeks of this dreaded darkness, something positive decides to show itself. I've spent nearly two "work days" hunting for more jobs and it looks like it's starting to pay off. I had two interviews today, one at P.F. Chang's and another at In-N-Out. They both went well. Tomorrow, I'm headed over to California Pizza Kitchen and Buca DiBeppo for two more interviews. I'm headed back to Olive Garden next week for an interview as well. That makes five in one day. Nice, right?

I'm actually celebrating with my "victory Tilt" right now. Good drum & bass as well. Go Goroteks!

Still have a bit to figure out with how I'm going to be paying my bills that start coming in the next few days and paying off two overdrafts (that came due to unemployment being so slack on getting my case handled... It's been a fucking month and my case is still "pending." More like "impending"... doom).

I've got more on my mind though, and this is something that has been permeating my brain for the longest time now... But only came to light in the last week - these so-called "friends" I have. What kind of friends turn their back on someone going through hard times, saying they "don't want to deal with any of their "drama?"" That's really nice, especially considering that if my friends were going through hard times, I would be there in a heartbeat. Friends are supposed to be there for each other, yet it seems like the "friends" I have up here are only concerned about their own well-being. They don't want to stick around for someone when times get rough. I say this to these people - FUCK YOU.

I'm sorry if I get so negative sometimes, but if you were in the same situation where things were just spiraling downhill at a rapid rate, you might be the same way too... AND I WOULDN'T DESERT YOU.

But here's something to ponder... What are you gonna think when I'm gone? Where am I going you ask? The United Kingdom! Why? Because there is OPPORTUNITY there... and people actually appreciate me there. I could use a change of scenery... A different way of life. You idiots are so soaked up in your own lives that you just feel the need to kick me to the curb when things get bad. You aren't real friends to me, and you probably never were. I don't need you. I don't want you. Have a nice life without me because I'm going to be something that you didn't even see coming.

My vocals on a happy hardcore tune? =o

2008-05-12T19:31:10Z

For those who I told I would be doing vocals for an upcoming freeform track:

Unfortunately, this isn't going to happen. The track was due to be sent in today, and had a lot of changes made at last minute. The title of the track was also changed, and with Jen in from Long Beach, there was no way I could redo the vocals on such short notice. So no go this time. Was kinda disappointed yesterday, but it's all good. We all know this is not the end.

On the upside though, I did realise a few things:

Let's face it. My voice doesn't belong in happy hardcore. My lyrics are dark, and my voice is even darker. After showing this producer my lyrics, he agreed too. I might like happy hardcore, but I am in no way that happy-go-lucky vocalist. My atmospheres are dark and twisted.

It was worth a shot. It didn't happen. We move on.

Teens charged for using skull as bong... LOL

2008-05-10T03:23:53Z

May 8, 2008, 11:38PM
3 accused of using corpse head to smoke pot

By PEGGY O'HARE

The Kingwood teenager's story of decapitating a corpse and using the head to smoke marijuana was so outlandish that at first Houston Police Department senior police officer Jim Adkins did not believe it.

Yet, Kevin Wade Jones Jr., 17, appeared almost indifferent as he relayed the bizarre description of his and two friends' activities at an Humble area graveyard, Adkins said.

"I just doubted it because it's very morbid, and I couldn't see anybody doing something like this," Adkins said Thursday.

Not until police went to the home of another Kingwood 17-year-old, Matthew Richard Gonzalez, did the officer believe the tale.

"He regurgitated in his plate of food when I asked him about it," Adkins said. "So I knew there was some truth to the story.
"

Now, Jones, Gonzalez and a juvenile whose name has not been released are each charged with abuse of a corpse, a misdemeanor. All three were arrested Wednesday night.

Police said a fourth suspect is wanted for questioning.

Houston police believe the teens disturbed the grave of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921.

The child was buried at an unmarked cemetery believed to be reserved for black veterans and their families, Adkins said.

Under the law, a person can be charged with abuse of a corpse simply by vandalizing, damaging or treating a gravesite offensively — even if the human remains buried there are not touched, Adkins said.

The child's skull has not been found. If recovered later, however, such a discovery will not change the charges filed against the three suspects, Adkins said.

The teens first came to police's attention during a vehicle burglary investigation. While being questioned, Jones told of desecrating the gravesite a month or two ago. Adkins said he believes the tale was intended to distract police from the vehicle break-in.

Jones claimed he and his friends used shovels to dig up the body and removed the corpse's head with a garden tool, Adkins said. Jones also revealed he and the other two boys took the severed head to the juvenile's home, where they used the skull as a "bong" to smoke marijuana, the officer said.

Police made three trips to the heavily wooded, snake-infested graveyard near the Eastex Freeway feeder road and FM 1960 before finding the disturbed grave several days ago.

"The grave was uncovered, and the headstone had been thrown off the grave and broken," Adkins said.

Because the grave is flooded with murky water from recent heavy rains, police have been unable to determine if the child's casket is still in the ground.

All three teens gave written and verbal confessions admitting they tried to dig up a body over a two-day period, Adkins said.

But the boys told conflicting stories about whether they actually severed the head — so police aren't sure if that gruesome detail really happened.

Even so, HPD is working closely with Humble police to try and find any surviving relatives of the child whose grave was disturbed. According to court papers, the grave belonged to Willie Simms.

"The ultimate goal will be to put this body back to rest," Adkins said.

Little is known about the graveyard. The Humble Bicentennial Museum could not confirm that it was reserved for black veterans, but Adkins said he observed "many, many headstones" for black soldiers killed during World War I and World War II.

The three boys, all home-schooled, have also been charged in connection with the vehicle break-in. Jones and the juvenile are charged with credit card abuse, while Gonzalez pleaded guilty to a charge of misdemeanor theft between $50 and $500.

Chronicle reporter Brian Rogers contributed.

www. chron. com

Hospital Visit #2

2008-05-09T08:54:06Z

This is really getting redundant. I hate hospital visits. I haven't been to one in fucking years. But I had to go back today for two appointments. Someone shoulda warned me that it would cost me $10 and not $5. I was down to my last few dollars in my bank account before I went broke, but lucky for me, I did some quick thinking and was able to stop my bank account from hitting zero. Yay. Go me.

So what happened? First I went into the wound clinic. They took a look at the wounds, cleaned out the "dead tissue" and showed me how to dress the wound myself... as well as gave me a shopping bag full of medical shit.

And I got to see just how bad my wounds were when they cleaned the shit out. There's literally a ONE INCH HOLE in my leg from where this "thing" (now recognised to be a black widow) bit me.

Then it was over to my regular appointment, where they would have to "lance" the bite on the right side of my stomach. It turns out that they put some of the puss through a test and that I had a staph infection from these bites. Normal, right? At least it wasn't a bad thing. Took some vikodin before they sliced me open. Wasn't as bad as I thought. And just to show ya, this is what it looked like BEFORE they sliced it open:

Haha. Gross.

So I head back for a third time next Thursday. Yay... O_O

NEW MIX! Death Perpetuum - Destructively Disturbed

2008-05-09T01:52:46Z

Death Perpetuum - Destructively Disturbed

This mix is more like a “concept” than a “demo.” The underlying effort of this is to show that what goes on inside my mind does indeed mirror the music that I spin. Dark and menacing tunes that build on ad infinitum, and with the flip of a switch, the music gets harder and more violent. But with darkness comes light, for there cannot be balance unless both are present. Following the chaotic “Soundwall VIP,” I decided to use “Clip Kill” to mildly chill out the mix before slamming face-first into darkness again.

Another goal of this mix is to show who my primary influences are. I’ve changed a lot musically over the years, and I want this mix to express that. As seen by the overdose on labels like Renegade Hardware, Moving Shadow, Prototype and Metalheadz, as well as a severe influx of such artists as Dylan and Dom & Roland.

As I was putting the finishing touches on the track list at 3 am, I was also watching the Metalheadz documentary that so many of you are familiar with. “Obsession” seemed to fit perfectly, while I thought “Up All Night Remix” would bring an epic and welcoming end to this brutal piece of work.

Audio coming next week!

-DP

Tracklist:

Basic Unit - Silver Wolf (Tech Itch Remix) [R&S]
Dylan & Loxy - Stereotype [Cylon]
Future Cut - Horns 2000 (Dylan Remix) [Renegade Hardware]
BC - Planet Dust [Prototype]
>>Deep Blue - Helicopter '97 [Moving Shadow]
BC - The Nine [BC]
Ed Rush, Optical & Fierce - Cutslo (Locuste Mix) [Prototype]
Trace - Sonar (Optical & Fierce Remix) [Prototype]
Faith In Chaos - Possession (Kemal & Rob Data Remix) [Outbreak]
Dieselboy - Invid (E-Sassin VIP) [Palm Pictures]
Dom & Roland - Thunder Remix [Moving Shadow]
Dom & Roland - Paradrenasite (Combined by Hive) [Moving Shadow]
Technical Itch - Heavy Metal (B-Key Remix) [Tech Itch]
Kryptic Minds & Leon Switch - Primary Objective [Tech Freaks]
>>Dom & Roland - Cycle of Life [Dom & Roland Productions]
Future Prophecies - Warlords Rising [Subtitles]
Evol Intent - Horns & Halos [Barcode]
The Enemy - Dying Time [Killing Sheep]
>>South*Star & Miracle - Omega Amen [Intasound]
Raiden - 6 Foot Ditch (Kryptic Minds Remix) [Renegade Hardware]
Dylan & B-Key - Slave to Life [Tech Freaks]
Kryptic Minds & Leon Switch – Hide the Tears Remix [Metalheadz]
Dom & Roland - Soundwall VIP [Moving Shadow]
Dom & Roland – Clip Kill [Moving Shadow]
Boymerang – Still [Prototype]
Dylan & Facs – Ceptor [Biotic]
UFO! – Enemy Infiltration [Thermal]
DJ Ink & Dylan – Need You [Renegade Hardware]
Future Cut feat. Jenna G – Obsession [Metalheadz]
Muffler – Embrace [Disturbed]
John B – Up All Night Remix [Metalheadz]

Hospital Admittance

2008-05-08T08:41:58Z

Midnight ramblings... Aren't they great? But I can't help but to just write and write and write to possibly empty my head of the thoughts that plague me at this very moment. I really don't know if anyone pays attention to this blog, but I'll post anyways...

So I went to the hospital two days ago for three infected insect bites. I'm not quite sure what kind of insect did this, but a lot of people are suspecting a very well-hidden black widow. How it got in here, I'm not quite sure. Is it dead and/or gone? I fucking hope so.

So it all started about two weeks ago when I found a puffy bite on my right leg. I used benedryl and ice on it, and it seemed to heal down pretty fast. Two nights later, three more bites appear. **Note: I was asleep. I did not feel anything bite me.** Over the next few days, I tried EVERYTHING, from benedryl cream AND tablets to Anti Itch X to hydrocortisone. Nothing seemed to work, and I'd already spent close to $30 on medicines. Lame. I was losing massive amounts of sleep because of the pain/discomfort too.

So finally I decided that I need to go to the clinic and get these things checked out. The first time I went was Monday. I got denied because the clinic near my house doesn't accept walk-ins (and I also found out that they wouldn't be able to help me anyways). So Tuesday morning, I called the number they gave me to set up an appointment at Valley Medical. I got there around 1:20, and was VERY nervous. I kept thinking about that scene from SLC Punk where Bob gets admitted to the hospital. It was a lot less than I'd pictured though.

They tested me for diabetes too because they thought it might be staph infection. Lucky for me, normal blood sugar level. No diabetes. yay. They had to "lance" (cut open) the bite on my left leg because there was a pool of puss/blood that was making it swell. It was pretty painless though. The most painful was them scraping at the bite on my side. It looked pretty nasty, but had to be done. An hour later, I was out of there, but I had another three hours to wait for my prescriptions, one of which was vikodin (which is REALLY helping right now).

The only problem was the fact that they didn't give me any painkillers to help deal with the situation as it was. I was in pain and was walking around like a cripple. So I headed over to Wendy's cuz I hadn't eaten all day. I headed back about 5:30, and to my delight, the prescriptions cost me nothing. That works. I'm broke anyways.

Two days have passed, and I've been taking the meds/using heat. The wound on my stomach has finally burst open (which is a good thing). I wish it would have happened sooner because they're gonna have to lance this fucker too. It's gonna hurt. Bring on the anti-pain drugs. The bite on my side and leg have massively decreased in size and are starting to heal. Yay for SOMETHING going right. I'm headed back to the clinic in the afternoon. I have to go to the wound clinic at 1:15 and have an appointment at 3:30.

I got a new phone!!!

2008-04-24T01:35:31Z

It's got a camera on it tooooo!

^_^

I GOT FIRED!!!

2008-04-22T03:15:12Z

Before I go mix for fuckknowshowlong, let me tell the Myspace world about my day...

FINALLY I AM DONE WITH HOME DEPOT! I GOT FIRED.

And it's pretty fucking obvious as to why I'm not upset about this. How many people have listened to me rant on and on about how much I hate my job for MONTHS? Yea. Point made. Should I have moved down to SoCal back in September prior to the "house" turning into a "crack house?" YES. Shoulda known that it would amount to this. I'm not sad. I'm fucking ECSTATIC.

Seems to me like seven months of hard work has fallen on deaf ears and blind eyes. The way this Home Depot works... they play favorites and they play them to the CORE. If you're not friends with management, you're fucked (and doomed to stay in a single position as long as you live). I've applied for so many positions and have gotten NONE of them. How long have I been asking about this Head Cashier interview? Meh. Whatever. I've already written a blog about this bullshit.

I'll get to the point.

So I was an hour from leaving today when I was called up to the training room. It was there that I had two managers plus a stack of papers staring me in the face - my termination papers. So they wanted to use my last three late days against me it seems... though it's not my fault.

1) Stopped by light rail security and pulled off the train because I "looked like someone they were hunting down." right. Because I have a hood pulled over my head, a beard and a dark look to my eyes, I look like someone you would want to fuck with. Word.

2) One Monday morning, I was waiting for the light rail at 5:20 am. This would have gotten me to work by 5:32 or so (I start work at 5:45 am). The train is NOWHERE IN SIGHT. IT DOESN'T COME. The next train was 5:56 which got me to work by 6:06. Again, NOT MY FUCKING FAULT.

3) Last week, Capitol Light Rail station went under construction. I showed up at my usual time to catch the 8:04 train (which would get me to work by 8:54. I start at 9). I find that there are GATES surrounding the station. This confused the living hell out of me (especially considering that who the fuck is alert to everything going on at 8 am? Not me.). I eventually figured out that I would have to take a bus to the next light rail station (Tamien). Due to HEAVY (and I'm talkin heavy like WTF) traffic, what would have been a 2 minute light rail ride turned into a 50 minute battle through traffic. I got to the next light rail station, only to be 55 minutes late to work.)

The last time that I was late or called in sick was OCTOBER. Sure I was late a lot back then because I was rather traumatised by the place I dub "The Crackhouse" (and I'm not talking about the place in Oakland). So that would be six months of not calling in sick or being tardy. You would think that they would at least allow SOME of this slide. Keep in mind that on these three days, I called to let them know I would be late WELL ahead of time and got there as fast as I could.

But I somehow knew something would happen over the last few weeks, and this was it. Even as I walked out and said my goodbyes, people couldn't understand why they would fire me. Even though I felt like I was treated unfairly, I worked my ass off. Always trying to get more hours. Always trying to help out. But I was never recognised for any of this. I proudly wore the 2 cashier and 2 customer service awards I had been given, but I know that I deserved more.

I mean, just yesterday, I helped a customer load 100 bricks into her car for the SECOND time. She was saying how I always go out of my way to help customers, how hard of a worker I am, even when the task-at-hand isn't my job and how I need a promotion and a raise. The Front End Supervisor was even standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME when she said it. Loading those bricks wasn't my job, but there were no lot or garden associates to be found.

At least I have some fucking good references.

Oh... and now that I have nothing holding me back, SOCAL HERE I FUCKING COME.

Music!!! :D

2008-04-20T11:29:59Z

Now for the fun part! :D Sooooooooo after the long wait, I finally have a mic! I'm so happy that I can now record vocals for the tens of producers that have been asking me for soooo long! I picked up a Shure Beta 58A two days ago from Guitar Center, and though I've only used it for a few minutes (thus far), I've already realised the power packed into this piece of equipment. I'm going to be using it a lot more as today progresses. Gotta get some other things out of the way first though.

I finally feel like the cosmos is allowing me to embrace my musical dreams (for the first time in my life). I've now got a full DJ set up and a mic (for the first time since 2005, before all of that equipment was stolen and sold on Ebay). I'm glad I didn't have to spend extra money on a pre-amp. Yay DJ mixer. So now it's my time to create (and destroy).

My voice has been my primary focus for the last few weeks or so and, despite the fact that not going to Arizona put a major dent in my plans of vocal dominance, I'm not gonna let that affect me. I've got all of the studio tracks for the tunes that will be on our (Juggernaut's) demo. The demo will consist of five tracks (at the current moment). The tracklisting is as follows:

a) Never Feel
b) Mindless
c) Anatomy of Existence
d) Alternate Souls
e) ???

On top of that, I'm hellbent on improving my voice and vocal range/endurance. I recently ordered Brett Manning's "Singing Success" program. You can check it out HERE. For those non-believers, be sure to watch the sample video provided on the website. I've been singing a lot of high-pitched songs lately to increase my range and solidify my endurance, including Megadeth, Symphony X (I'm amazed at how easy it is to hit some of these high notes now) and Therion (a current favorite).

I'm also really excited about the fact that I can now do a deep death metal growl. I don't really know where it came from or how I acquired it, but it makes me SEVERELY happy. I've been toying a lot with the screams of Epica and Arch Enemy lately, and though this new talent winded me pretty quickly when I first realised that I could do it, it's pretty easy now. I seem to be able to hit these growls with no effort whatsoever. ... And just like the advice that Angela Gossow of Arch Enemy gave to me months back, I'm going to start paying more attention to my "Zen of Screaming" DVD that I purchased last year. I'm excited about this year! :D

As far as DJing goes, I recently went out to Amoeba Music to buy some new wax, and I ended up with a big smile on my face by the time I left the store. Some of the new plates I acquired are:

Dylan - Inferno EP (Renegade Hardware)
Ink - Kaos Theory EP (Renegade Hardware)
Aftermath - Essential Rewindz (Renegade Hardware)
Disorder - Global Disorder EP (Position Chrome)
Dylan & Loxy - Stereotype b/w B-Key - Timezone (Cylon)
Rymetyme - Control b/w Stimulant (Saigon)
E-Sassin - Nightstalker b/w Chimera - Neolights (Phunkateck)
John B - Up All Night Remix (Metalheadz)

If I'd known that I had more money in my bank account/brought the records I didn't want anymore to sell, I could have had:

Panacea - Find Strength/Decade of Destruction (Position Chrome)
Ed Rush & Optical - The Medicine/Punchbag (Virus)
Ed Rush & Optical - Gasmask/Bacteria (Virus)

Oh well. They might be there the next time I stop by. I always find good stuff no matter what! :D

I also just got booked for a show by New World Family and Blu Ice Entertainment on July 18th entitled "Otter*Pops." I'll also be working that show as a lighting/audio engineer. Chase Larson of Larson Lighting/Blu Ice Entertainment is going to me mentoring me and showing me the ropes over the next few months. I'll be going to school for audio engineering one I'm finished with this debt rehibilitation program in six months. It's gonna be so exciting to finally go back to school. And now that I think about it, it's amazing how a threat (of garnishing my wages) could put me back on track to getting my life in order and getting a degree.

More crews are asking me for a demo too, so I'll have to get that done asap. Damn the capitalist workhorse. Always too busy for music. GRRRR. But I'll make it through. I'm eventually going to have to find the time to watch these tutorials for Reason 4.0 and Cubase SX so that I can start producing. Fuck knows when that's gonna happen. :P

Home Depot Drone? Not I

2008-04-20T11:28:38Z

This will be the first of two blogs written today. I want to write all about my musical adventures and realisations, but first, I must tackle an issue that has been bugging me for months up until yesterday - my job at Home Depot.

I've been working there for over six months, have applied for various positions and did everything in my power to advance within the company. It started to seem to me like all of my efforts were falling on blind eyes. But yesterday was the boiling point - I've been feeling like a robot for months now. It isn't hard to operate a cash register, and I'm just burnt out and tired of dealing with every customer in the store every day. I began realising that once I came back for my fifth hour (after lunch), I'm a lot edgier than when I first come in. Also, I applied for a head cashier position two weeks ago, and the Human Resources Manager keeps putting off my interview. So finally I decided to do something about it - it was either sort things out or quit. I'm not able to take anymore of this repetition day-in and day-out.

I was pretty angry when I was leaving work because this had all built up to the point that I was going to explode. I watch as many of my friends get transferred to other departments, and I'm just stuck on a stupid cash register. I've already applied for millworks, paint and lead generator, and none of those positions came to me. So I figured that this was going to happen again with the head cashier position I just applied for. So I confronted my Front End Supervisor. Things went better than I thought they would.

I explained to him how I feel stuck in the company and it seems to me like I'm never going to advance anywhere. I also told him that I was on the verge of quitting if these things didn't change somehow. I really didn't like how he's been treating me for the last few weeks either. For example, I went to purchase a kit kat bar on my break, and he asked me "are you on the clock?" I replied, "yes, but I'm on break." He said to me, "you're not allowed to buy anything on the clock." That's a bunch of bullshit, and it was this that set me off. One of my head cashiers (that I'm pretty chill with) was out in garden, and she asked me what was wrong. So I told her everything. She gets treated unfairly too, so she understood. I also have to point out that it seems like this store plays favorites to the CORE. It's ridiculous. So I felt like I was being singled out. Other cashiers were doing Head Cashier type duties, and I just kept thinking to myself, "why the fuck aren't I doing these things?"

After venting all of my frustration, I came to find out that the reason I'm always out in the garden center is because:
a) He thought I liked being out there (which I do, but just not for eight hours straight)
b) I'm one of HD's strongest cashiers (even when I go into i-don't-give-a-fuck mode, my metrics are still on-point. Weird)
c) I have knowledge of the garden area that no other cashier has (I enjoy working out there, and I acquire knowledge pretty easily. Ask me about a drum & bass or hardcore release and info, and I'll talk your head off ;))

But I'm one of those people who like to multi-task. I like coming to work having different tasks every day. I'm not a Home Depot drone, and by that I mean... there are people that work there that are told what to do, do it every day, don't ask questions, etc. It's like they are "programmed" to do their "job." That is NOT me and will NEVER be me.

So after talking for a while, he began to understand why I've become so edgy over the past few months and is going to change my daily routine. He's going to pair me up with the MOD (Manager On Duty) and ASM (Assistant Store Manager) as well as put me in charge of training the new cashiers. Even if I was put out in the lot to push carts/load for four hours, that would be okay by me. I like lifting heavy stuff, and it's a good workout.

I’m glad I have a day off today (finally… for the first time in seven days). Hopefully when I go back to work tomorrow, things will be different. *crosses fingers*

Edit: Nothing has changed really. I continuously get yelled at for stupid, trivial shit. Whatever dude. I’m so over this.

Tonight was O_O

2008-04-18T08:26:54Z

DUDE! It was so O_O!!!! I was on the BART headed towards Concord to meet Annalisa, and the train was stopped at Fruitvale. I looked out the window to see a cop getting on. For those of you who know the shit I've been through, even though I've done nothing wrong, dem badges put me on the edge. More cops began swarming the train, and soon enough, there were K9 dogs barking like crazy.

Then I overhear something about a gun. I was listening to my music, so I thought I might have misheard something. Sure enough, I was right. A half dozen cops drag the guy off of the train and cuff him. A few remaining officers search for and locate the weapon.

We could have gotten sprayed with bullets tonight. :O I'm not really all that freaked out, but DAMN! Why does all the fucked up situations occur around me? LOL. Makes me laugh really.

Fuckin hell man!

My next gig - New World Family & Blu Ice Ent presents OTTER*POPS

2008-04-14T08:30:42Z

Reflections Part Two - Relocation and Work

2008-04-14T08:26:48Z

Building on my last blog, I have been constantly reflecting on what was written and how many of the points that I made are so dead-on, and weren't just something that I thought at the time. I guess that's what I like most about myself. I realise something, and I immediately take action (well, as soon as I can. Sometimes there are factors out of my control that prevent me from taking immediate action).

The first issue that I have to tackle is actually made up of two parts - work and location. So I've been wanting to get down to Southern California for months, right? And no one has any space for me to crash. I came up with the solution - And despite the fact that I've had some pretty shitty roommates, I figure that checking craigslist.com wouldn't hurt. I mean, I won't get to check out the place or meet the person renting the room out, but maybe I can have a friend go over to the place and check it out. If worse comes to worse, I could always take the place blindly (without seeing it/meeting the person renting), and if they're dodgy and/or the place sucks, I could put in my 30 day notice on day one and find a new place. At least I would be in Southern California, close to everything I desire.

With that though, where would I work? I've already brought up the fact that I could easily get a job at IHOP or Denny's. It'll probably happen, and it looks like a transfer from Home Depot won't happen. But then again, I'm not getting my hopes up for a transfer. Let's look back at the last six months, shall we? I decided to come back as a cashier, and I THOUGHT I was going to get full-time hours. Well I did... for a while. Then the hours cuts came. It affected me for a while, but the more I was noticed by one of my head cashiers, the more hours I got. Following my return from Chicago on Feb. 17, I have maintained a 32 to 40 hour schedule every week. And while that's all fine and good, it seems to me that once a shift passes the four hour mark (and after I come back from lunch), I begin to get extremely edgy. Today I figured out why - cashiering for eight hours (aka doing the same fucking thing every day and seeing the same fucking customers) drives me crazy.

How difficult is it to ring someone up? Not very. A fucking monkey could do it. So if you really think about it, cashiering is essentially a robot's job. Well guess what? I AM NOT A ROBOT. I am not designed with a set of programs embedded into my memory. I enjoy multi-tasking. I enjoy doing different tasks every day. So why is it that I haven't moved anywhere within the company? I turned down a position with a moving company (that would have also encompassed a bit of IT work) because I thought that going back to Home Depot would be a good opportunity for me. Apparently NOT.

I've now applied for millworks (twice), paint (twice), phone center, head cashier (twice) and lead generator. Apparently I'm supposed to have an interview this week (aka tomorrow probably). Once I find out the results of this whole ordeal, I might have to have another talk with Human Resources. It's the fact that I work so hard, and I have so many more abilities that I can use towards the company. I'm always being told that I'm one of HD's best cashiers, and I always help out anywhere that it's needed and come in whenever asked, etc. I've also received two cashier awards and two customer service awards (in six months) as well as being cashier of the week two weeks ago. You'd think that this would all contribute to something, right? Fucking wrong.

So I've determined that I'm working myself into an endless oblivion. I'm completely torched on writing. I do love being around people but not in a retail environment... because those customers piss me off (especially the ones who lack know-how and/or the ability to speak ENGLISH (You live in FUCKING AMERICA! LEARN THE FUCKING LANGUAGE OR GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE COUNTRY)). So I think I'm gonna start looking at restaurants for employment. After all, I do love food, and maybe I can work my way up to chef (I mean, I did make a really mean pasta dish tonight with marinara and steak. Can't wait to eat it tomorrow!). My two loves - food and music!

And that brings us to part three... All about the music!

Recent Reflections

2008-04-11T09:25:50Z

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! What a day! *falls backwards onto bed* Where to start? How about from the second I rolled out of bed? So I was pretty tired today, so I headed over to 7-Eleven to get a XXL Monster Mixx'D. As I was nearing the light rail, I realised that I had only $1.65 on me. The fare was $1.75 for a one way ticket, but I figured "There aren't usually any fare inspectors on in the morning. I'll risk it." Bad idea.

Three stops later, I look out the window to see an officer in a tan shirt looking DIRECTLY at me (while I'm on the train). This creeped me out, considering that I am weary of ANYONE that has a badge (bad experiences with cops coming to various front doors at 6 am while I'm asleep. Then I open the door and instantaneously become O_O). The fare inspector steps on the train. I explain to him that I was only ten cents short (because I forgot the bag of change sitting on the table next to my computer... oops). He takes my ID and opens some sort of book. I asked what he was doing, and he said something about VTA looking for certain individuals and I "fit the description" of one of them. Real nice. Usual shit, right? So they let me off with a warning. I jumped back on the train and was nine minutes late to work. That leaves me to explain why I was late to HR. Real good considering that I'm skating on thin ice anyways.

And after a few hours of flipping out inside my head, assuming that the world and my love hate me because I made a minor mistake, I came to a realisation. Two actually:

1) Not that this is a surprise, but by wanting to ticket me because I am TEN FUCKING CENTS short, America is nothing more than a bunch of greedy, filthy pigs. Fuck you America. And as a sub-argument to this point, why is it that every other public transportation system in Northern California is payable by credit card (except for the lame ass Valley Transit Authority)? Don't you think they would eventually get the hint? Oh and what makes this even better is the fact that a light rail pass does NOT link up to a bus AND the LR pass only lasts TWO hours (whereas transfers in SF last five hours, caltrain passes last four, BART offers free/discounted bus rides directly from the train, etc.)? These retards should get the point.

2) Maybe this ordeal has forced me to realise just where I should be and what I should be doing at this moment. I have been slaving my ass at Home Depot for over six months now with no promotion (despite the fact that I have applied for five other positions) and have been dealing with the same bullshit over and over five days a week. So what if I get docked another point? I could get fired. Do I care? Not really. I never planned on going back to HD to begin with, but I felt that making $400 a week was better than the $224 I was making per week with Unemployment. So I took a shot at it. I failed, but all failure isn't bad. I saw my return to HD as an opportunity to advance in the company and MAYBE make something of myself. Oh how I was wrong. I've got an interview for Head Cashier tomorrow, but I know how this store works. I'm not the favorite. My odds are slim-to-none. That doesn't mean that I'm not gonna try my hardest. I'm just not getting my hopes up.

So let's ride on the scenario that I do get terminated. At least I lasted six months. It's something to put on a resume. This would give me a good opportunity to get the fuck out of NorCal and go home. Where is home? I don't think this question needs a rhetorical answer. Use your fucking head. And where would I work? Well, I have almost a year of experience serving for IHOP, and I love serving/being around people (who aren't stupid like HD customers), so working for Denny's or IHOP would seem like a very good choice. I'm sure I'll get hired easily.

Another subject that has been on my mind lately is my writing. I have been writing for eight years now. I repeat - EIGHT. Now, really... What have I accomplished in this length of time? Published in Bassline Mag? Meh. Small and independent. Not enough eyes to see. Rinse Mag? Twice. You would think that my writing would get noticed with features on artists like Trust and Stakka. Nope. And lastly, Dogs On Acid. I have done features on Possession and Jay Rome. Do you REALLY think that ANYONE on the board ever gave ME respect for what I write? Always biggin' up the artist that the article is about, but not a single word of "good article!" to me. Recommendations? Forget it.

I've also been writing for the likes of Blu Saphir and Black Reign for a while. I also had plans to launch my own PR company which would have had some pretty prolific clients, but I'll tell ya now, folks. I am BURNT OUT. It seems to me that I have gotten nothing out of these last eight years besides a portfolio. That's a good thing, but the creative edge is dead. I don't feel it in my soul anymore. So this is going out to anyone I've told that I would do writings for - I'm stepping back. I'm done. For how long? I don't know. Will I ever return? Again, I don't know. Music is priority number one. It's about time I do something for ME.

Elaborating a bit more on my move back to Southern California, I'm still hunting for a place. If anyone knows of someone who wants to get a place or needs a roommate, hit me up! I have so many connections down there, and with my decks here, I'll be able to get mixes done (once I replace this flimsy table aka tomorrow). I miss my friends and LOVE dearly. I refuse to be without these souls any longer. It breaks my heart when someone asks "Hey! Wanna play my party?" or "Hey! Wanna work this show?" Then I have to decline because I don't have the funds to get from up here to down there. Gas usually runs $100 both ways. See how much easier things would be from the south? And to anyone saying in their mind, "you move around so much!" I say this - I have been in Northern California for almost a year now; in San Jose for almost nine months. And what have I accomplished here? Nothing. Again. My soul reaches for the faintest glimmer of light to keep the pulse alive. San Jose is the death of me. Fuck this place. I came back to Northern California for an opportunity with Nu Energy USA, and that is the ONLY reason. Once NEC USA fell through, I was stuck here. That's the end of that.

I'm sick of these episodes of insanity. Too much stress. Not enough time to relax. I was just pondering why it seems like all of my days are sucked away. At my current location, an three hours are used for transport and nine hours for work (there's half a day right there). By the time I get home, I don't even want to do anything. I miss the days of old where I would go to work and hang out afterwards. Maybe go to dinner or some other fun activity. I wish it were still like those days.

This is another reason I'm giving up writing. It's so time-consuming (and you say to yourself, "well, so is music production or DJing, but you do it," and I say "I do it because it is enjoyable to me. Writing isn't anymore."). I laugh at people who call me "old" because I know that I have so much more to live for. So why don't I? Perhaps I should start. I'm so tired of battling with life's issues to miss out on the fun parts. This can't happen anymore. It will be my impending DOOM.

I'm sure there is more I can write on this, but it's now 2:20 am and my brain is shutting down.

...to be continued.

All Moved In!

2008-04-08T05:42:12Z

After 13 hours of sleep (which still didn't make me feel any better than yesterday) and lots of moving, I'm finally set up in my new bedroom. There are still clothes all over the place, but it's all good.

I'm glad to finally be in a place that has good vibes, and I don't have to worry about some shady bullshit going down or someone stealing something of mine. Over the last five months, I had to worry about sketchy individuals going into my bedroom, so I always kept my door locked, even when I was home. I'm glad to be away from all of that.

Now with my head all sorted out (though I still feel all blaaah), time to figure out my move back to LA. Home Depot no longer means shit to me, especially after the things I encountered yesterday. Even if I go back to LA with no job, I'm still down. Whatever.

My turntables are all set up, and I was playing with my new vinyl today. I guess I've got more $ than I thought I had, so I'm DEFINITELY buying a mic and pre-amp this weekend! Maybe another trip to Amoeba/Rasputin is in order too!

This is my fucking time. I'm gonna make it happen.

Not going to Arizona

2008-04-04T16:18:17Z

When Doctor Doom asked me to come play at the Combat Zone, I was overjoyed at the fact that I would be playing alongside Ewun, R.A.W. and MC Dino, not to mention that this would be my first 2x4 set (2 DJs, 2 mixers, 4 turntables). So I alerted a friend of this gig, and he said he would be down to go. So I started to hunt for more people to caravan it down there.

A few weeks ago, he informed me that he would be staying in town for a local event. So back on the hunt I went. At the same time, I was talking to Mike Battle about finishing up some tracks previously recorded by one of his former outfits, Alternate Existence. So once my vocals were put on these tracks, they would be pressed to CD. Then distribution would begin. I also had plans to record two rock tracks for drum & bass labels Vibez Recordings and/or 13 Music.

So back on the hunt I went. Another friend informed me that he couldn't drive me either. But finally I found someone that was all about going down there. Her car was in the shop, but I figured that we would rent a car and jet it down there. Yesterday, she informed me that this is in no way possible. I guess she was supposed to have more money, but that never happened. So she can't even get anywhere now.

So as my last desperation efforts, I checked Greyhound and Amtrak. Greyhound would cost too much, and Amtrak didn't have the appropriate transfers. It would take me almost an entire day by train to get to Arizona. Not gonna work.

So now I'm out of options, and what's even worse is the fact that Mike had stepped out of a wedding just to get these tracks done. I feel so bad that all of this has happened. I feel like a total letdown. I feel like I've disappointed more people. I can't even face Mike right now. I just feel like curling up into a ball and falling into oblivion. I'm in disbelief that I can't even make it there.

I need to get the fuck out of NorCal. This is the fucking END of it. This place does nothing but hold me back and stop me from getting shit done. I'M FUCKING DONE

Sonata Arctica!!!!

2008-02-22T05:34:06Z

FUCKING ROCKED!!! Best show I've been to in a LONG time!

The opening band became a bit bland after the first two tracks, though the group of people next to us didn't help the vibe any (practically booing the band off the stage). I felt bad when the vocalist said "So you guys want Sonata, huh? We've only got two left." That's just straight up RUDE. Besides, THEY'RE the ones opening for Sonata, not YOU. Be jealous! ;]

Sonata finally took the stage to a ROAR of a crowd. When people say that Sonata's fans are the best, they're 100% RIGHT. I can't remember much of the set list from the night, but 8th Commandment and FULL Moon were two of the best songs of the night. The energy was fucking MADNESS during Full Moon! I've always wanted to hear it live, and there's no way in hell that Sonata wasn't gonna play that one! Too bad they didn't play Replica, Kingdom For a Heart or Shamandalie. Maybe next time?

And I must comment on the band vs. crowd interaction... Tony (the vocalist) took time out to divide us into three groups. At his command, we all screamed "HEY!" He then took a drum stick and started pointing at each group randomly. Once we got the hang of that, he stepped it up, "Now I'm going to turn each group into a part of the drum set." My group was the hi-hat ("pshhhhhhhh"). Group 2 was the snare ("bang!"), and group 3 was the bass drum ("BOOM!"). He started up with the randomness again, eventually bursting into a serenade of "We Will Rock You." Fucking awesome.

And due to the fact that we couldn't stop screaming for more, SA decided to do four more tunes. Forget the sign that read "No moshing. No crowd surfing. No stage diving." We moshed hard. I got a busted lip and nearly twisted my ankle. I used my body as a battering ram to get into the pit and up front because I AM METAL. I don't care what happens to my body at a show. It's all sacrifice for something I live for.

Following the four "encores," we headed outside to chill with people we had met during the show and meet more Sonata Arctica fanatics. I had a great time, and who better to go to a show with than my amazing friend, ZESTY BIRD! More people need to come with us to shows!

Sonata Arctica showed me what a REAL show with a REAL presence feels like. The presence was there the entire time, and the crowd's energy was rising with every song that was played. I've grown to love Slim's like a second home! I'll see everyone at Epica/Symphony X on April 18th!

-DP